Do you use affirmations?

I was at a talk on positive thinking not long ago, and someone recommended Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life. This is a classic of self-help books and has been around for years. I found that not only is there a book, but there is now a movie and all kinds of other paraphernalia you can buy from Hay House. I downloaded the audiobook for my iPod and have been listening to it in the car or when I'm walking or puttering around the house.

The basic premise of this book is that the problems in our life like money issues, discord in relationships, weight issues, even clutter are all an expression of two basic beliefs. The first is that we are not good enough as we currently are. The second is that we don't deserve to be happy. These problems then become a way to explain why we feel unworthy. It might sound hokey, but it makes a lot of sense to me. I can see it in some of the things that I do.

This isn't quite like The Secret. Hay doesn't claim that you don't have to do any work to get the things you want. Instead, she says that you have to change your thought patterns before you will be willing to do the work that brings good things into your life at the same time that you are working to make changes.

I also downloaded and listened to Love Your Body, which is a bunch of affirmations specifically for body image that goes through every single body part. There are some weird ones in there -- loving your liver, or your colon, or your spleen -- but it was interesting to see how she tied people's feelings about body parts to various beliefs we might hold about ourselves. It's something to try if you're open-minded.

OK, I believe that it's time for "The Biggest Loser." Review tomorrow!

Running setback

I have been having some trouble with intermittent pain and numbness at the base of my toes on my left foot that sometimes makes it uncomfortable for me to walk, let alone run. I was noticing it at first only on long runs, but now I have it almost every time I run and sometimes when I'm just walking or standing a lot.

I went to a podiatrist. Next week I will go for physical therapy to evaluate and treat the pain. In the meantime, he suggested orthotics but I have tried those in the past and they are expensive and uncomfortable. Luckily he didn't insist -- he recommended some off-the-shelf insoles instead and also said I shouldn't be walking around my house (hardwood floors) barefoot. So I'm wearing shoes in the house and taking some anti-inflammatories temporarily until things settle down a bit.

Oh, and I'm not supposed to run.

I'm not thrilled about taking three weeks off running but at the same time, I know that I need to get better. To be honest, it has been so miserably cold out that it hasn't been a huge sacrifice to skip it. I have been doing some yoga (including hot yoga), Pilates, swimming, and indoor cycling to compensate. Tonight is my swimming night.

I'm also beginning to lose that lovin' feeling about Weight Watchers, to be honest. I'm wondering if I should cancel my membership and go back to tracking with "Lose It!" instead. My monthly pass just got renewed, so I'm going to give myself a few weeks to think about it. I don't know if it's a temporary feeling of WW ennui, but I don't feel like I'm getting much out of my meetings lately, and I can track for free with "Lose It!" Like I said, I'm going to give myself a week or two to think about it.

Review: Believe It, Be It

Ali Vincent's Believe It, Be It is a quick read. The book looks like a lightweight: Slim profile, lots of white space, less than 200 pages, plenty of pictures and tips. The writing is simple and straightforward. It probably could have been a long magazine article rather than a book. At the same time, though, there is some real substance here.

Jillian Michaels said in one of her podcasts that no one gets to be 100+ pounds overweight because they are lazy or gluttonous. "Nobody wants a Snickers that bad." Even with all of our talk show culture's discussion of addictions, though, I think few of us really understand how food addiction works or how it could be overcome. We might have some understanding that this kind of weight gain is a way to deal with serious pain and conflict and confusion, but there is still a tendency to think of solutions in terms of finding the right diet or exercise plan. Ali describes with sadness the people who try out year after year for "The Biggest Loser," because they see it as the magic bullet that will finally fix them. This book contains some diet and exercise tips, but Ali makes it clear that the emotional work she did was just as important as learning to cook healthy food and work out.

I went on national TV and dug into the hardest, most personal questions I can imagine: "Why do I overeat? Why do I punish myself? Why am I unhappy?" The answer to all three questions, I discovered, was the same: Because I wasn't willing to look at my life and deal with it.

Ali talks about the role of relationships in her weight loss without painting herself as a victim or making other people into villans. She loved her free-spirited mother Bette-Sue but resented the chaos and drama of their home life. She managed to be the popular party girl in high school but never really felt like she fit in. She had lots of family members who wanted desperately to help her as she piled on weight, but who did it in a clumsy way and made her feel judged. Bette-Sue's selfless side shows up too, though, when we find out that not only did she get Ali to the casting call, she volunteered herself as a partner when she found out the "Couples" twist at the last minute and charmed her way (and Ali's) onto the show, even though she wasn't exactly thrilled about the grueling challenges she knew she would face on the ranch.

Ali also hints at the role her confusion over sexuality played in her weight gain -- growing up in a strict Mormon community, she started having sex early. She said others saw her as a "trophy girlfriend" but she "was becoming a woman who didn't value her body." Later in the book when she talks about falling in love, she remains gender-neutral when describing the "amazing person" she is dating.

Of course, for "The Biggest Loser" junkies like me, the most fun part of the book is the insider's view of what it's like to be on the show. We get the insider's scoop on the casting call, what it's like to live on the ranch, and what the food and workouts are really like. You can't watch the show without realizing that there are cameras everywhere, but Ali gives a sense of just how true that is when she writes that even in the bathroom, which is camera-free, if more than one person was in there, the camera crews would show up instantly to find out (and film) whatever was happening. There are also some interesting notes from the show's nutritionist about Ali's "Before" diet of coffee, sodas, candy, and fast food.

Ali used visualization to help her get to her goal of being the first female Biggest Loser. She and her mother found good omens everywhere. When they got in line for the casting call, they were in the 11th spot on the 11th day. When they got to their ranch and their team was handed pink shirts, Ali decided pink was her lucky color and started wearing pink and gluing pink crystals to her things for good luck. She used affirmations like the "Believe It, Be It," of the title. She believed so much in the power of visualization that for the finale, rather than choosing from the clothes provided by the show, she put together her own pink-and-black outfit so that she could picture what it would be like to be on the stage when she won. At the same time, she said, she worked hard. While other players let themselves get distracted by gameplay, Ali kept her focus laser-sharp on her food journal and the number on her Bodybugg that told her how many calories she had burned that day.

I think that fans of "The Biggest Loser" would be missing out if they don't read this book. Ali is an engaging guide to the weird world of reality TV. If you're looking for a weight loss plan or details on how to get fit, though, look elsewhere. There are a few recipes and tips, but the focus is really more on the inspirational and emotional aspects of weight loss, not the nuts-and-bolts of food and fitness. Still, I really enjoyed it and devoured the book in a few hours. I plan to reread it at a little slower pace, because even though I'm not "Biggest Loser" material, I think some of Ali's visualization and goal-setting techniques could help me get past my sense of being stuck. It seems like a good motivational book for the new year.

Happy 2010!

I'm hoping the year ahead will be a prosperous, happy one for all my blog readers.

Early in the new year I will be reviewing Ali Vincent's Believe it, Be it. I just read it today.

Here's hoping you make all your dreams come true in the coming year.

Only one resolution

A friend of my sister's was killed in a car accident a few days ago. She was only 32.

Life is short and I'm going to remember that. I am going to live like I remember that.

Hope you will too. My sister's friend did, luckily.

By the way, PLEASE don't drink and drive.

Bike followup

I got some really great tips on my last post. I am not sure why I'm all cranked up to buy a bike in December, but I was thinking that if I shopped in the off-season, I might get more time from the salespeople (and maybe a better deal). There is a bike shop in Ann Arbor that looks promising. I should also see what's available in Toledo, but one of the local shops did give me that "you're not cool enough to shop here" vibe, which sort of sours me on shopping there again. I am not really sure why some bike shop employees cop that kind of attitude. I think some bike shop employees will only give you respect if you look super-fit or if you plan to spend huge amounts of money. I am not either, unfortunately. As fit as I feel, I think I still don' t look it. That's one of my huge motivating factors in wanting to lose weight -- wanting people to see the fit person I want to be and not see me as an overweight person and assume I'm either a) not knowledgeable about fitness or b) a lazy glutton.

But if I casually look around at a bike store without being sure I'm going to buy something right away, I can get the sense of whether it's the right place to go when I'm ready to buy something.

Bike crazy

One thing I want to do this spring is get a new bike for training and racing. My current bike has served me pretty well for the last 8 years, but the fit has never been exactly right for me and it's not comfortable for long rides. I tried a Trek WSD (Women's Specific Design) bike once at a Danskin event, and it felt so good I didn't want to get off. I am thinking that because of my build (long legs, short torso, narrow shoulders) that this kind of bike might fit me better than the typical unisex (men's) fit.

I am a bit nervous about bike shopping. I have never been a gearhead, so I don't really know the terminology and am not sure I'll be able to get a good deal. I probably feel about bike shopping the way a lot of other people would feel about shopping for a computer. I have been to bike shops where the salespeople make you feel like a jerk if you're not looking to spend at least $3000. I am thinking my upper limit on bike price would be $1500-2000.

I just want something that feels great when I ride it and will hold up well for long training sessions. I don't need the coolest and latest and greatest stuff, I just want a good, solid road bike that won't hold me back in a race.

Any advice or recommendations to share? Post them in the comments.

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

Another year over, and a new one just begun. . .

I didn't feel like a Christmas/holiday post (I had a fun one, but how interesting would it be to write about it?) This post was shamelessly stolen from Shauna's 2009 and Feelin' Fine post:

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
I tore apart a sink in my bathroom and helped to install a new one. Not just changing out a faucet this time, but actually removing a sink from my home. That was fun. I took a 6-week watercolor class and decided I really enjoy it and want to keep doing it. I tried hot yoga, also great. I committed to regularly coloring my hair, probably for the rest of my life (unless I decide that I want to go gray someday). I let my first passport expire (though I resolve to get a new one in 2010 just in case someone wants to whisk me away to Europe at the last minute). I got a full-time job in the field of my choice, one that I could actually imagine doing for the rest of my career. I attended a graduation ceremony as a faculty member.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next this year?
I barely remember what I resolved last year, except that I was going to be at my goal weight by now. Obviously, did not keep that one. I resolve to get a passport this year (see above). I resolve to focus on my behavior and my fitness and keep working toward my goals without getting obsessive about the scale. I resolve to keep trying new things and setting new goals. I also want to continue working on getting out of debt while still enjoying the occasional worthy splurge.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
She wasn't close to me anymore, but a high school classmate died unexpectedly and it was a bit of a shock.

5. What countries did you visit?
Sadly, I did not leave the USA, which was why I didn't renew my passport -- I was a little short on cash and had no plans to travel, so I thought I would wait until I was feeling a little more flush. I did do some traveling within the States, visiting California, Massachusetts (twice), Tennesee, North Carolina. Michigan is less than a mile from here so I'm there a lot.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A vacation with my husband. Also, sometime I would like to go on a spa-type retreat for a weekend (or week) trip by myself and maybe meet up with some like-minded women. Don't know that this will happen in 2010, though.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The first real Christmas for my nephew.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my finances in order for the first time since I moved in with my husband. We have managed to straighten out our money issues, plus we also both have full-time jobs we like and only one house (having two mortgages for almost a year was a major financial strain). We aren't all the way out of debt yet but it is seeming possible to get down to just a mortgage payment.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to decide whether I really wanted to lose weight enough to seriously commit to it. I feel like I played around with weight loss this year -- not really committing to doing it or to letting it go, just sort of fiddling. This coming year I want to try to have more focus. I also didn't spend as much time maintaining relationships with friends, or making new friends whose interests more closely match my own.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I'm currently having trouble with my foot, will be seeing a podiatrist Tuesday to deal with some recurrent pain/numbness in the toes of my left foot. I started taking meds for a thyroid issue. I have been pretty lucky, though, this was a fairly healthy year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Refurbished 3GS iPhones! Both of us love them and they were a steal.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage, living expenses, debt.

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Swimming!

14. What song will always remind you of 2009?
I can't think of one. I think I spent most of 2009 listening to NPR news and various podcasts. Yes, I'm officially old, but with a techno twist.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Happier. Things are more secure now for me and I'm feeling good.
b) thinner or fatter?
About the same weight. Maybe not thinner, but definitely fitter.
c) richer or poorer?
Richer, per #8.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Traveling for fun and not work. Spending time with real friends and family.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about what other people think. Sitting in front of a computer or TV screen just because I couldn't think of something better to do.

18. How will you spend Christmas?
Spent it with my family -- feasting, playing cards, opening lots of gifts, playing with my nephew. May host a belated celebration with my in-laws next Tuesday if they all can agree to/commit to a time.

19. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I have been in love with my husband for a long time (going on 20 years together next October, and 16 years married in May). I am lucky to have a lot of love in my life.

20. What was your favorite TV program?
The Biggest Loser, The Mentalist

21. What was the best book you read?
Beautiful Boy

22. What was your favorite film of this year?
I really enjoyed "Extract." Also just saw "Invictus" and loved that too.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was feeling under the weather on the day itself but recovered enough to go out to see "Precious" and have Thai food. I turned 39.

24. What kept you sane?
Lots of workouts.

25. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I thought Owain Yeoman (just found out his name) from "The Mentalist" was pretty cute until he got this dorky haircut.

26. Who did you miss?
My favorite lunch buddy from my last job. My running partner, who moved to the wilds of western Indiana.

27. Who was the best new person you met?
I really like the new chair of our department. One of my regrets of 2010 is that I didn't make any great new friends. It's hard but worth putting some effort into. Something to work on in 2010.

Hope you close 2009 with a bang and have a great 2010.